for little nikki

I give my family a hard time, but I undeniably won the parent lottery. I have an ensemble cast of parents that would make any reality television show an instant hit. My mom is hilarious, a completely ridiculous character that reminds me of Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl, and has taught me the value of always trying to better yourself. She doesn’t like to talk much, but I have drawers full of 10+ page letters that she has written me. She once ended a letter with “I love you with every ounce of my being.” Heavy stuff. My dad is brilliant. I hate that word because it doesn’t express the way his brain works, but it’s all I have right now. He just gets it. He has a piercing sense of humor that causes confusion between wanting to give him a hug and wanting to slap him. He has taught me that having a sense of humor isn’t necessarily being able to tell a joke, but to take one. I can say with 100% confidence that I would not be the person I am today without his influence. Pat is my step-dad. I was terrible to the poor guy. He has no idea who Jessica Simpson is, but he could answer every question on Jeopardy. I am so lucky to have him in my life because he has shown me what true love looks like. Once my mom and Pat were driving to dinner and he, absent mindedly took a wrong turn. My mom was badgering him and finally said, “Half the time I just don’t understand what you are thinking about.” He genuinely responded, “I was just thinking about how lovely you are.” Every time we go out to dinner, I order two glasses of wine and the sea bass and he says, “I feel so lucky to be able to take such a beautiful woman to dinner.” Chris is my dad’s fiancé. They are getting married next month. I’ve also given her a hard time, but she makes my dad happy, and wants the best for me. She was a rock for my dad when he was sick and stuck around during some pretty rough times. My parents don’t always see eye to eye. More common than not they disagree, but they all love us kiddies and will always make choices that are in our best interests.

I realize that Nikki, my cheeky, lovable, adorable little niece, doesn’t have all of these influences on a day to day basis, so here is my attempt to teach her a few things with thousands of miles between us.

First, I am the coolest aunt of all time. Don’t forget it. You’ll understand why later.

Next and this might take some time, find something that makes you blissfully happy and do it every day. For me, a good, sweaty workout is a small thing I can do that gives me an immense sense of accomplishment and happiness. I’ve realized that I don’t really feel like myself until I have done some physical activity. No matter how small or insignificant it feels, embrace it.

Read something. Know what’s going on in the world. Have something interesting to say and have a firm point of view. Understand the issues that affect your generation. My friend, Carly, once blogged, “Imagine in today’s world approaching a guy at a bar and not knowing the answer to Apple’s CEO, not having a gmail account, or worse not having a PDA? One word… NEXT! My good friend calls this “google dysfunction”. In other words if you don’t know how to utilize google for all its worth, you do not deserve to be getting laid…”
I completely agree. My point is you need to insist on a little intelligence out of yourself, your friends, and your men.

Laugh out loud. Have a smile on your face, and a pleasant disposition. Listen more than you talk. Engage in life. Take interest in someone else. If you do this, people will want to be around you. Friends are the most important piece of the pie. Trust me, as big of a pain in the ass as they can all be sometimes, it is completely worth it. When shit hits the fan, they will always be there with a glass of wine. You will meet so many people in your life, and you won’t know who the most important ones are until they are gone. Treat everyone as if they are the most important person you have ever met.

When you start dating, completely disregard what the guy says. Watch what he does. Men say a lot of things and I have realized that very few of them are true, but if he goes out of his way to make you smile, he is a keeper. Find someone who makes you feel rare, interesting, and special. If you find this person, do anything to keep them.

Know that you have a different kind of family. You have 45 grandparents and you will be a better person for it. Embrace it and don't allow it to become a burden. It's important to have people in your corner.

My last piece of advice for today will pertain to clothes. Never look too polished. Always have your hair a little askew, or one too many buttons unbuttoned. If someone asks you if something is new, say “this old thing, I’ve had it for years.” There is nothing worse than a girl that looks like she is trying too hard.

Stay tuned little Nikki…There will be many, many more of these to come…